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Crucified With Christ

The nails pierce my hands. The pain is excruciating. I scream, “I don’t deserve this. This isn’t fair!”

The One beside me is silent.

The soldiers hoist the cross bar and let it fall into place with a thud. The force of this impact causes my body to jerk and bang against the cross with great pressure. My legs fly out but the nails in my hands hold my upper body to the cross. I cry out in pain, “I don’t want to do this, please don’t make me!”

The One beside me is silent.

The nails are driven through my feet. This sends siring pain up my legs, through my entire body. I squirm, scraping my bare back against the rough wood of the cross. Once again I scream, “Why are you doing this to me? I shouldn’t have to go through this!”

The One beside me is silent.

My mind is spinning. I hear voices but I’m not sure what they’re saying. Wait someone said, “She trusted in God, let God save her!” I begin speaking these same words. “I trusted you but you let me down. I’m not doing this your way – not this time. Your way is too painful.”

The One beside me is silent.

The voices continue. As I listen I notice the One beside me. There is calmness in this storm. There is peace amidst this chaos. Just looking His way calms my heart. Then I hear His voice: “Father, forgive her, she doesn’t know what she’s doing.”

I call out to Him, “I want Your peace in my trial. Please help me. I don’t know what to do.”

He looks at me and tells me, “I will be with you.”

“I don’t think I can handle this pain – it cuts too deep, its too hard to let go of myself.”

With compassion in His voice He says, “Sweet child, I will be your strength.”

Finally I can stand the pain no more, I cry out, “Please Lord Jesus help me! I surrender it all to You!”

The One beside me cries out, “It is finished!” and the clouds roll back and the pain dulls and His peace comes.

I have surrendered.

I have been crucified with Christ.

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. The life I now live in the flesh, I live for Christ who loved me and gave Himself up for me." Galatians 2:20

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash
Living a life of surrender means being crucified with Christ.

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